Friday, August 21, 2009
Ganju and his Cop story
I decided to take things a bit further from my previous post before I am actually crucified for washing other’s dirty linen in public. I know its heinous crime to write about other’s personals in my own personal blog but I don’t give two hoots about it. It’s about the experiences of my very close friend Ganju on a fateful night last year. This post is one of those ‘incidents’ which normally happen to the junta of HC tribe. The reason I am digging graves here is because I am nostalgic, too attached or probably some emotional fool who remembers his past and keeps smiling to himself. So here it goes-
It was not a windy night. It probably was the most boring night with no wind at all, with rains hiding just behind the clouds threatening to unleash but merely thundering silently. Ganju came out of his house taking his bike keys to meet a friend. Now how far does this friend live? To be precise, his friend lives across the street, say some 400 meters from his house. But Ganju took out his brand new bike for the same. May be he is blissfully ignorant of the merits of walking. So after he met his friend, he was soon joined by few other friends (his colony gang) and all of sudden new plans were made and they all had to go to the airport (for what purpose is none of our business). So Ganju did the obvious thing-he parked his bike in front of his friend’s house and all of them left for the airport in a car. But as luck would have its own way, the so called purpose of going to airport was not fulfilled and they had to return back (total journey-almost 50 kms). They returned back to the same place by night 1:30 AM. If they had gone back to their homes after this, I wouldn’t have got this opportunity in the first place. But guess he got up on the wrong side of his bed that morning. Yes, he along with his friends felt-the road is theirs, their own home turf, their own area where each one of them lived for years and started gossiping right there on the road fully aware their act amounts to civil disobedience. Peals of laughter rang through the windless night with all of them having the time of their lives when the cops chose to give a stylish entry. When time gets bad, a fish in the sea becomes a dish in a star hotel. The cops always reserve their most menacing looks to normal public. I wonder if they give the same aggressive looks to a real criminal. With an ‘I-will-book-you-for-terrorist-activities’ look, the cops quizzed them. After the initial explanations, their eyes fell on the yellow steel shining with droplets of rain sliding down its smooth surface. I am sure he found that erotic enough to question about it. He asked-“Whose bike is this?” Ganju meekly raised his hand and declared his ownership of that super sexy new bike. “Put your hand down and show me the papers” said the patrolling inspector showing all his teeth. Now logically, to meet a friend across the street, why would someone take the papers? (It’s another issue that no one would take the bike out for this distance). Our hero Ganju also thought the same and had no bike papers on him. But this being his own area (his home turf as he calls it), he replied confidently “I don’t have papers. I live just across the street”. It’s like saying I only smoke healthy cigarettes. The cop gave another menacing smile and simply said “… then go home and sleep kid” and smoothly took the keys from his hand and gave it to one of the constable behind and lo even before any argument took place, the constable started the bike and vanished in the night.
All this happened so soon that he was caught off guard. The situation being so silly and yet so disturbing only because it involved his brand new bike greatly disturbed Ganju. After the remaining cops also left, Ganju seething with anger ran to his house (It was close to 2 AM) and knocked on the door, he went in-took the papers-walked out of the house in 2 minutes leaving his mom shell shocked (What she actually thought is again none of our business). Still surprised at the audacity of the cops, he met up with his friends and planned their next move. As fate would have it, they were 3 of them and just one bike was available. Ganju simply said ‘Uski maa ki’ and all three of them went on that hapless bike to the station. I must really admire his pompous stupidity but again that’s Ganju for you. When these 3 guys stopped at the police station, the cops were poker-faced to see them. They just gave another reason on a silver platter-three of them travelling on a single bike. Ignoring that, Ganju started his explanations (begging) and that went on for some time with the cops as usual not paying any attention to what he got to say. Now any random logic would tell you that they would have given back the bike if you pay them the usual baksheesh. But sadly this was the moment his friend chose to lose his composure. Well it happens-he got to go home and it’s getting late. He started shouting at the cops, pointing out how stupid they are to seize the bike of such respectable people. That’s done beautifully, the cops got their reason. From frying pan to the fire, the cops took all of them into the police station and threatened to detain them all night for.
Seething with anger, blood boiling, pride hurt and with renewed zeal to show the cop his right place, Ganju took out his phone. He first called his friend-some street smart guy who has the right contacts at right places. Now at this late hour, why would he be waiting for this hero’s call? Obviously he was sleeping. Undeterred by this, he called up some inspector he knew and ended up with same result. Anger levels lowered, blood cooled down, pride swallowed and with drooping shoulders, he called up his brother (finally some sense). His brother was fast. He is ‘he came-he saw-he conquered’ type and convinced the cops that they would pay the fine at the court tomorrow but would take the bike now. The cops relented, thanks to his excellent talking skills. So finally everyone went back home and you must be thinking, all is well that ends well but you are mistaken.
Next day begins on a positive note. His ‘street smart’ friend whom he tried to contact last night called him up in the morning. After learning the story, he offered to accompany Ganju to the court and brought his car. He is a typical character who thinks very high of himself when he wears high sole shoes. They along with couple of other friends went to the court, as usual in high spirits listening to the radio and cracking jokes (Some people never learn, do they?). After completing the formalities there, they went to the nearby shop and started having refreshments. Yes the final nail in the coffin was hammered here. One of them closed the car door leaving the keys inside. Now I have heard that it’s possible to open the car door without the keys using a scale but I don’t know how. Even they didn’t know how to and had to try for FOUR hours in that hot sun to open the door. Finally they had to break the window glass and open the door. The friend who is no way connected to the story came, got his car window broken and went home. Such people exist only in the world of Ganju.
This is one small episode of his life and with him around, funny things might happen to you also. Having bad luck is normal and being arrogant is also agreed. But arrogance with bad luck is deadly combination and that’s the reason why I and he are considered a lethal combo. Oh, When I say I have all the bad luck in this world, it sounds funny to you right? Well, probably my next post shall convince you of my power in that field. Till then See you.