Sunday, September 6, 2009

In the driving seat


The ordeal is finally over. For the last one and half months, I have been learning how to drive the car and finally my training has come to an end. And needless to say that I am very lazy, this was one hell of an experience. My teacher (driver) from the driving school is a young lad, may be 19 or 20 yrs of age took pains to teach me every morning. I have always been a slow learner; I take time to learn new things. Biggest example for this trait-I never learnt how to play chess or cards. Before the chess loyalists come gunning for me for taking both chess and playing cards in the same breath, I shall explain -both requires brains to play and I don’t think when I am playing.


Driving cars needs remarkable ability to concentrate on different things at the same time. I have heard people say, it’s easy once you get used to it but getting used to it is a problem. That’s sounds like an oxymoron for me. For the first few days of my ‘training’, I was taught how to handle the steering. That was fun. He used to say-“take a left” and I used to turn the wheel to my left and conveniently forget to straighten the wheel after that. After a week of learning ‘how to steer’ amidst his frantic shouting, he tried to teach me to use my feet on clutch, brakes and accelerator. I never understood how to use my two feet for three pedals. If Michael Jackson had seen me trying to pedal them, he would have invented another iconic dance step. The biggest problem I encountered while learning this was-releasing the clutch slowly and raising the accelerator simultaneously. These are two opposite acts-one is releasing; other is raising and it has to be done with my two feet which have to move in opposite direction with one exerting force while other relieving it-Got my problem? My driver desperately tried to teach me the physics of using my feet along with controlling the steering and also constantly praying to god that I don’t hit someone on road. God is never kind-I once hit a can of milk at the corner of the road and my driver had to rush the car away from the spot as fast as he can to escape before the milk man comes. After 10-15 days, he was convinced that I didn’t make any progress whatsoever and there are only some odd 10 days left for my training. So he decided to teach me the third part of my training-changing gears and immediately regretted his decision. One fine morning when I was driving with utmost concentration on the wheel and my feet on pedals, the driver casually remarked “Change to third gear” and I was quick to say-“yes yes change it” –with my hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. He looked at me with agony and with his fingers on his temple, he informed me with all respect that he won’t be with me all my life to change the gears. I managed a smile.


How much ever he might have despised teaching me to drive, he liked me thanks to my bad habit of talking friendly to people I meet. Once he made the mistake of asking me a question I dread the most.


“What do you do bhai?


“me…err I am looking for a job”


“oh! An engineer?”
It’s funny to note that for people, every unemployed graduate has to be an engineer.


“Well yes, but I have done MBA too” I said trying to look proud.


“Oho …nice…so what do you all day?”
Another most dreaded question.


“I blog”-I said without thinking, without realizing what grave mistake that slip up was.


“You what?”


“Well err, I have a website in the internet and I try to keep myself occupied with it”-I said trying make things very simple.


“Oh your parents don’t say anything?”


“Why should they? They encourage me”-I said with a smile.


“Oho okay. But where do you get the girls?”


I thought I heard his question wrong. Girls? Who said anything about them? Clearly confused, I asked him-“what girls?”


“ohhh with guys????”-he was very much looking aghast and I could clearly see this conversation is going somewhere into the taboo lands.


“Relax; I don’t understand what you are talking. What guys & girls? What are you talking about?”-I asked him.


“I don’t know…you only mentioned something about websites. So I thought you have something like sex sites or something.”-he said shrugging his shoulders.


“oh god..no man. Its not like that. I actually write stories.” I said still trying to make him understand things easily.


“oh stories!!”-he said with an understanding smile and I returned his smile.


“Stories for Savitha Bhabhi haan?”-he asked me again after a full minute.


My huge shout of ‘NO’ was actually drowned by the screeching of the car’s tires because I had unknowingly pressed my foot on the brakes in shock. The car stopped in the middle of the road but I didn’t give a damn-hell my image was getting tarnished here. For his own god’s sake, he thought of me as a writer of sex stories. I patiently told him that I don’t write sex stories and I write normal stories about my life. I could see he was clearly disappointed and I promised myself that I would never ever talk to him about anything remotely connected to internet.


Well I had my share of laughs too. I once asked him casually-“what happens if cops catch us?. I am sure none of those who come to learn have licenses.” He gave me a ‘you are so na├»ve’ look and asked me not to worry because cops never catch cars from driving schools. But alas, the very next day he informed me of some new traffic cop who held his car and they had to shell out the fine. He told me vehemently that this was the first time in his career and I desperately wanted to show him my blog post about my luck to him (didn’t take the risk) to make him understand the alarming coincidence between his first time & my casual comment.


I don’t know if I have learnt how to drive-I want to test my skills on my dad’s car now. After all it was his idea that I learn driving. My dad asked me to learn driving so that I might come in handy when we go for long drives. Fat chance-I thought because I know his ulterior motive behind this. He wanted to make sure,I wake up early in the morning. What he didn’t know was, I used to sleep after he went to office and wake up in the evening. The ordeal is finally over and I am sure this is a mutual feeling shared by both me and my driver. I am happy driving my little Scooty Pep and he must be happy to see my back.

25 comments:

  1. honestly and seriously

    NO COMMENTS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i was laughing all through the post!
    I wanna quote some lines from the post which made me laugh continously which made me to choke!!

    ""both requires brains to play and I don’t think when I am playing""(NO COMMENTS!!)

    ""If Michael Jackson had seen me trying to pedal them, he would have invented another iconic dance step""(Knowing you will suggest such an Idea MJ left this world :P)

    ""once hit a can of milk at the corner of the road and my driver had to rush the car away from the spot as fast as he can to escape before the milk man comes""

    ""t’s funny to note that for people, every unemployed graduate has to be an engineer""(You are an MBA grad too :O)

    ""I want to test my skills on my dad’s car now""(Request to GOD::Please save Adi's dad's car GOD!! See that no milk man ever place his can on the road!!)

    HILARIOUS!!

    Keep smiling adi!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ROFL, that was hilarious :D seriously!

    And I had the same type of experience one fine day when my bro thought of teaching me how to drive :P it was only for a day though ;)

    >:D<

    ReplyDelete
  4. lol! This reminded me of my days spent learning to drive! Trust me, u'd be fine in a jiffy....even before U know it....but yeah, don't stay off driving!

    And ain't it funny what some people construe actions on the Internet to be?

    My 1st time here......good space!

    ReplyDelete
  5. "The biggest problem I encountered while learning this was-releasing the clutch slowly and raising the accelerator simultaneously."
    This is a big problem seriously.... I never got past that until I broke the headlamp and got a good thrashing from Dad...

    and yes that was something to be read and enjoyed..
    TAKE A BOW man.......

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @shruti

    Thanks a ton. Glad you liked the post :D

    @ana

    haha >:D< same pinch :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Rakesh

    Thank you. Hope i learn it soon :) . Thanks foe the visit :)

    @ RSV

    thanks man..glad you liked it :)

    @ANu

    thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Truly funny!! I was in splits once the conversation of you with the driver started :D Finally your post made me feel proud for having found an almost seamless solace with the driver's seat!

    ReplyDelete
  10. a very interesting conversation :p i hope my trainer does not have such questions in store for me because it happens to be my father :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi, bloghopped and found your space. Was laughing all the way.
    I remember my 'learning to drive' days and they were pretty similar to yours.
    You have a flair for comedy(read some of you earlier posts). Keep writing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ROTFLOL. You better keep your mouth shut about your online activities from now on esp with people whose knowledge about the net begins and ends with but a single thought. OMG that was funny!
    I guess we have something in common. I was told to turn left during my initial days of learning and wasn't told to straighten the wheel, so the car went round and round (thankfully in the ground and not on the road) leaving me totally mystified for a few seconds. Lol, but other than that I took to driving like fish to water and it is something I really enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @Gautham

    Hehe I shall always give you company in such issues ;)
    Thanks for dropping in. :)

    @olive Oyl

    Thank you :P
    Oh learning from fathers is even more difficult :P They expect us to learn it all in a day :P

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Aparna

    Thanks for dropping in and am glad you liked my posts. :)

    @ Shail

    Hehe hopefully i learn driving without further hassles :P And yes I wont discuss internet with anyone-remember i made a promise to myself ;) :P.
    Thanks for your visit maam:)

    ReplyDelete
  15. i have given up learning from my father. its an old fiat premiere padmini and a slight deflection makes my father think that i am here to slaughter the car. in any case as my father has pointed out, if i go on a driving spree, i am going to go on reducing india's population regularly :(

    ReplyDelete
  16. @Olive oyl
    Haha see I told you fathers can be dangerous :P
    Fiat .. ahhh my dads first car :D he loved it :D

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi :)
    Check out my blog!
    I have something for you!

    Keep smiling!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi...
    nice blog. u hav got a very unique writing style. loved it.
    I feel we have a very matching writing style...
    here is mine...check it out - GD Blogs!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow.. It's been very long after I have seen a very good blog... Good to see the post number rising every month..

    I should be jealous of you man.. I started blogging two years ago and the total number of comments that my blog has is less than what you had for a single post...

    Btw.. Internet till early 2000 was used mainly for three things - porn, sex and girls. And many people use it in the same order it was raised..!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Haha jealous of me? I am still a new born baby compared to veterans in this blogger world.

    Welcome to my blog and thanks for your appreciation :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Discovered your blog through Indivine! And I must say, I am glad!

    This was one interesting expression!!
    Keep writing!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. @ shilpa

    Thank you :)

    I am glad you liked it. :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...